Day 5

We woke up at four AM to the sound of rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo'ing, as we had parked our van and slept about three hundred feet away from a chicken farm. After lying half awake for five hours, we arose and checked out the vendors at the campground. My sole purchase was a fried egg salt and pepper shaker set and then we hit the road, once again determined to cover some serious ground, on this, the last day of the sale. Pretty early on, Christine announced that she was only going to be eating ice cream for the majority of the day, which she accomplished with three healthy servings.

The main event of the day took place at a dilapidated house we stopped at in Southern Kentucky. Christine overheard some guys talking about how "California was a gang-banging state" and so we were a little nervous about the people there. The owner of the house actually turned out to be someone who used to live in Guerneville and Mendocino. He asked me if I knew a interracial lesbian couple who he had lost touched with ten years ago and the name of the people did actually seem oddly familiar. We joked with who we thought was his son that great weed grew in Mendocino and hinted about wanting to get high. It turned out that the "son" was actually a recovering addict that had been taken in by the owner of the house. The owner also told us that he actually wanted to adopt this person and informed us that it was legal to adopt adults in Kentucky. Who knew?

There was nothing much to buy at any of the places we passed and furthermore, I was getting a bit loopy from seeing so many tractor parts and old tools. We had a nutritious PB&J lunch at the bottom of Wolf Creek Dam and wondered out loud if we could swim in the water or if we would be swept away by a hidden powerful current that wasn't visible. After some deliberation, we, armed with Hot Tamales and blue Slurpees, decided to drive back to Nashville a night early, to get back to some semblance of civilization. Once back in Nashville, we pretty much immediately decided we needed to go get a drink at a bar. Allison took us to a favorite watering hole and we met her friends and watched the Olympics on big screen TVs. Her friends told us a great way for women only (?) to get rid of hiccups, which is to suddenly kiss your female friend. After her friend described her kisses to be gifts from God, I contemplated faking a hiccup fit to see if she could deliver the promised goods. But, I am a gentlemen after all and therefore refrained. Maybe a bit of the South rubbed off on me after all?